Saturday, September 14, 2019

When I Die


                                                 When I Die
When I die
and my soul begins to fly
to the unknown place,
leaving behind my mortal remains,
I want you to cry
kissing my face that will turn cold and dry.
The drops that trickle down your face
will carry the memories of our happy days.
The days we stayed with our arms locked
basking in each other’s warmth round the clock.
My face will get wet as your tears drain
Who knows? The drops might make me rise again.
As my mortal remain is consigned to the flame
and with it shall burn all the worldly possessions and fame,
watch the fire as high as it soars,
there goes my soul knocking at the other world’s door.

After I die,
do not cry
because in every moment, there will be my presence,
close your eyes and you will feel my essence.
As the first warm rays of the sun peep in and fall on your face,
feel the warmth of my kisses with which you began your days.
When the cool breeze will blow,
it will carry my voice that you say is so soft and mellow.
Close your eyes and you can hear,
your love whispering in your ear,
“Dear, I am with you. Do not fear!”
When the rain drops shall replenish the earth,
remember that they carry my smile that you say, brings you mirth.
In this way I shall thrive
at every avenue of your life.

After I die,
do not cry.
In your heart I shall reside
until in the other world we meet
I would be at the door to give you a hearty and emotional greet.
Till then enjoy your life, smile and laugh.
In your happiness shall shine my epitaph.
                                                                   ~Saurajit Sinha      

An Open Letter Of Love Across the Border


                                   
                               An Open Letter Of Love Across the Border


To my beloved Shazia,

Shazia has an Arabic origin. It refers to a girl who is ineffably beautiful yet devoid of the scorn that such beauty is usually associated with, a girl who is jocund yet sincere, a girl with great wit and knowledge yet she would be one of the humblest person you would ever come across...”, you said laughing. I kept on staring at you in awe as you presented that compendious account of the provenance of your name and I blurted out a line, “You are one of those who live up to their names to the fullest”. You gave that enthralling smile and my heart once again, missed a beat.

This letter is an avowal as I pen down the thoughts that occupy the most secret corners of my heart. Today I am in my frankest self.

When I was apprised of the proposed student exchange program that my college would be conducting with a college in Islamabad, as a part of establishing goodwill between the estranged neighbours, I admit, that I was severely disappointed having believed always that nothing except war can settle dispute between India and Pakistan. I always felt that most Pakistani citizens have a propensity towards violence. Fate decided to change my views and took me to the place whose name I had loathed till then.

On the very first day we had a debate on whether capital punishment should be done away with in both the nations. This was the place where I saw you for the first time. That debate would always be the most memorable one of my life. You rose to go for the motion as I, sitting in the opposition bench, stared at you in contempt. You started presenting your argument in an inimitable style and declared that Indian prisoners even if convicted of as serious charge as espionage shouldn’t be executed as judicial killing had never fructified. This was the point when I looked up and stared at you with respect. As you elaborated on your notions of peace, I felt my stubborn belief for years that Pakistan and violence are synonymous, getting thwarted. By the time you ended, the seed of admiration was already sown in my heart. When I saw you vehemently clapping with an expression of appreciation on your face after I finished, it was an unprecedented experience for me as I had never met anyone who respected opponent with such veracity. Well ma’am, the saplings of love were out from the seed by then. I won the debate but was beginning to lose my heart.

Then I remember the recess period when I interacted with you personally for the first time and exchanged our views on world politics. You amazed me again when I realized that you knew more of Indian mythology and Hindu epics than I did. As my ears were giving you a patient hearing, my eyes overwhelmed with admiration explored your face which was partially concealed behind dark, shiny strands of hair hanging down. I loved the way you ran your fingers and flicked your hair behind your ears, unravelling your face from the dark strands that were lending a mystic air to your face all the while. I fell in love with your eyes, so deep and intense with a contagious serenity radiating from them that can calm even the most turbulent soul. Your placid, unmitigated smile that stayed glued on your face seemed like a balm to the deepest agonies of my life and your words constituted the quantum of solace every soul seeks for, in this tumultuous world.

That one month of student exchange course was the best time of my life. Although we have spoken over whatsapp ever since I returned to India, I could never gather the courage to be so honest with you. I had thought of proposing you last week but failed to muster courage though I believe we both could make out the feelings that we had been harbouring for each other. Finally I forwarded my proposal late in the night yesterday and went off to sleep full of exciting apprehensions. In the morning I frantically switched on my phone to find the message delivered but yet to be read. Just then my news app pops, notifying about a bomb blast at a busy market place in Islamabad~”Bomb blast claims life of a young lady, leaves others injured.” Full of worst premonitions, I switched on the app iterating the same prayer, “God, please keep her safe.” The article showed the picture of the lone casualty, the gory face of a young lady, a life nipped in the bud. I always claimed that my eyes can find you no matter what. Fate was having a cruel laugh putting my claims to test. The phone dropped from my hand and I wished ardently ~let my eyes be deceived, let my tall claims of finding you be proved hollow. The name of the victim confirmed my worst fear ~the fear of losing you forever. I could feel the pain from your blood-smeared face, the tranquillity of your face engulfed by violence. The heavenly smile was no more there and the realization dawned on me that the smile, no matter how eternal it seemed, was also subject to the confines of mortality.

Your words rang in my ears~”It’s the fear of losing a person that makes us love the person even more.” I thought of ending my life for an instance but how could I? You always taught me how I should never surrender in life. My proposal would remain unread but you always said,  ”True love needs no formal proposal.”  Maybe my expressions were enough to courier my feelings to your heart.

My eyes have welled up yet I am smiling as I distinctly visualize my Shazia reading this letter with that innocent, refreshing smile in an unknown land. I am sure you would wait for me until my time expires in this mortal world and I transcend the mortal boundaries to the immortal land of eternity. We would unite and I hope there would be no political boundaries and religious fanaticism to separate us again.

You made an obdurate individual like me revisit and reconsider his longstanding beliefs. Your words would continue inspiring me and I would always abide by your noble principles. That defines why I didn’t precede your name with the term ‘late’ while addressing you at the beginning as the term, I believe, contains in it the seed of ‘goodbye’. I remember when you came to see me off at the Islamabad airport and I hugged you and whispered in your ear ‘goodbye’, you whispered back in mine, “It’s never goodbye..it’s eternal.”

                                                                                            ~Saurajit Sinha





She fights


                                       


                                             She  fights

“My wife’s pregnant”, said the father with joy
in his firm belief that in the womb lies a boy.
“It’s a girl”, the immoral doctor said,
“We can abort it if sufficiently paid.”
“Kill it, Kill it”, said the father,
“Have mercy”, mutters the weeping unborn daughter.
The mother said, “I will not deprive my child of her life.
In my womb she will thrive,
till she’s ready to see the day’s light.”
The daughter said, “Thanks mom for helping me in this fight.”
Thus the daughter arrives in this world so vile,
the world which men like her father defile.
The mother smiles and says, “The fight is over and done.”
The cruel world replies, “Hold on! It has just begun.”


“Have I done the right thing in bringing her into this world?”, a grieved mother sometimes regrets,
as she sees her daughter being made a victim of utter neglect.
The mother tried her best to protect the daughter from a family that deemed her a burden.
Only if they asked themselves, ”What would the world be with only men and no women?”
A distant old relative comes to realize an evil deed,
she accepted his chocolates oblivious to what this might lead.
In her old uncle, the four year old reposed her trust,
little knowing that soon she would be a victim of his filthy lust.
She is fondled and groped,
touched in a way that she loathed.
“What was that?” asked her innocent mind,
As the filthy reason she fails to find.

By and by, the innocent girl grew up,
amid a constant fight against such crimes uncurbed.
Many free mouths told her what to wear
They said, “Hungry beasts are on the prowl, beware.”
“Don’t provoke”, they said, “Cover yourself to the core.”
She wondered, “Did I provoke that old man at the age of four?”
To such advice she turned a deaf ear,
pursued her ambitions without any fear.
Returning from work, she was walking down a dark lane,
around the corner lurked some beastly men.
They pounced on her and assaulted her,
just like a prey is mauled by its predator.
She got back on her feet as the cowards fled,
they thought the hard blow on her head had left her dead.
Little did they know that of iron this woman is made
 and their cowardly attack would fail to make her spirit and her existence fade.
Some said, ”Shut your mouth and stay silent,
Forget this as an unfortunate incident.
Fighting back might put on your reputation a dent.”
She refused to be snubbed and called the cops,
She was not ready to silently sob
Instead she wanted to punish those by whom her dignity was robbed.
She eventually wins in putting them behind bars
Which seemed like a balm to her deepest scars.
Soon she was back to the mainstream life
Unlike most who post assault fail to strive.
There she soared high with her wings freed,
as she announced her victory over mankind’s filthy greed.


But the battle from birth did leave her exhausted,
True love and companionship was now what she wanted.
Then she meets a man and friendship grew.
In due course sparks of love flew.
The man said, “A daughter would give me as much mirth,
Shame on the world that gives them death before birth.”
With him she felt so secure and safe,
just the company for which she always craved.
On one of the dates, she held his hand tight
as she spoke of her endless fights.
She says, “My life was sans love and so was my fate.
But now things have changed that we have met.”
Tears in his eyes, he wipes her tears
Then a kiss on her forehead that made her cheer.
He says, “My dear, your story deserves to be heard and read.
The world should know of a woman so bold and brave.”
She smiles and says, “Put rhyme to my story, make a poem, my earnest request.”
Now I shall tell her, “Dear here it is...I have tried my best.”
                                                                                          ~Saurajit Sinha